Newsletter

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Sunday, 12 July 2009

EPISODE 2 "Confidential Conversations"

Hi everybody!

Here comes the 2nd episode of "N for Nightwish". We would like to kindly remind our compariots (Polish readers) that here we leave only comments in English. Please, remember this.


Previously on ‘N for Nightwish’: Tarja finds out that she is pregnant. She suspects Emppu to be the child’s father, although he doesn't surmise anything. As a result of the chain of unfortunate events her secret was discovered by the rest of the band. They decide to fire Tarja.

Out of the darkness of nothingness, some shape has started to appear. At first very dim, but slowly started to become clear. A long, gloomy hallway with narrow and metal school boxes under each wall. Along them crowded some groups of strange people. Every person had long hair, leather jacket with hobnails and a shabby, cut pair of jeans. From the loudspeakers some news were coming out, occasionally interrupted by hard guitar riffs. Typical Finnish primary school.

As the image was sharpening, one more characteristic person began to appear. Here, at the other side of the hallway, a lonely boy was standing. He was flimsy, wan but most of all…as bald as a coot.

He took a look around with uncertain eyes and from the backpack he took out the cap which his mom gave to him in case he felt ashamed. The boy examined it carefully and noticed that in the front of it there was an embroidered ‘Gangsta rap’ inscription. He slowly looked at the crowd of ‘hobnailed’ peers and hid the cap in the backpack quickly.

The bell rang. The boy moved quickly in the classroom’s direction. He wanted to slip unnoticed through his “true metal” friends, but they spotted him immediately. Poor thing heard only “Hey, Marco! Wait! Tell us about your friends from staircase!” behind his back. Little Hietala pretended that he didn’t hear anything and run into the classroom very quickly.

- AaaaaAAAAAAaaa!!! – sweaty Marco waked up in his own bed. With a quick hand movement he checked if his hair are on their place. They were. He hated those dreams, or actually memories harassing him from the school times.

He wiped the sweat off his face and sat on the bed. Then he reached for the hip flask which was standing on the bedside table. There was always something for warming up inside. He drunk it, calmed down, but this horrible memory was still inside his head. In such cases he could never get rid of a feeling that THE hairdresser is hiding under the bed. THE one who did such a terrible harm to him.

***

“Chirp chirp” - chirped the birds and first sunbeams broke into the Tarja’s luxury apartment. The woman stood up and went to the kitchen. Her vast belly almost almost caused her to stuck in the door. She yawned widely and realized how hungry she is. She felt like eating a yoghurt flavored shrimps...or flavored Tuomas. Yes, she would like to eat him. She opened the fridge and admitted that there was only Finnish butter and last week lasagna inside. She cursed her husband Marcelo, who, after Tarja’s medical tests (he was accompanying her), went shopping 3 days ago and didn’t come back. Tarja of course concealed the secret about Emppu’s fatherhood. If Emppu wasn’t interested in it, then why should she drive her own husband in complexes? Finally, having nothing to eat, Turunen decided to go on starvation, probably forgetting about “not being alone”. She sat comfortably on the couch and switched on the TV in order to drown out the phone call she was going to make. Inquisitive neighbors was something she hated almost as much as mixing albums. She put the volume up to be sure that no one is overhearing, picked up the phone and dialed the number.

- Hello… How are you? Do you remember what was the deal? … Right… Sure, everything’s fine. Yes, if everything goes according to the plan we will see each other soon. Remember what I promised you.

***

7.00. The alarm clock, which was constantly playing the song of Black Sabbath was brutally destroyed by the bassist’s fist. Marco was waking up definitely too many times that night. Now he couldn’t sleep, for sure it was too late to sleep. He put on his bunny-shaped slippers, which his mother has given him for 31 birthday, pulled on his dressing-gown and made his way towards the Tuomas’ room with a sliding walk. Having reached the door, he heard (and felt) only “zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz”. The ground quaked beneath his feet. After he made sure that this is not an earthquake, Hietala raised his hand to knock. Yeah… Tuo is always the first one who goes to sleep and the last one who wakes up. Although the rest of the band noticed recently that he has shortened his sleep time. Apparently he realized that by having dark-circled eyes he can save some money on eyeshadows.

Marco knocked carefully. The snoring didn’t stop. He didn’t want to wake up others by knocking loudly. However, after a while he heard that the new vocalist is speaking with someone on the phone, so she’s already awake. Thus, he knocked harder. Nobody answered. He decided to force the door. Probably he watched too many films, because after pushing the handle the door opened without any problem. Tuomas, curled up, was lying on the floor. Marco, without going into details, came up to him and shook him as hard as he could. Holopainen didn’t react. Marco saw an empty bottle of alcohol near the bed and thought “Ok, it’s not good, the situation is difficult”.

- Disnelyland is on fire! – Hietala screamed out, shaking his friend once again.

- Help! Fire service! – Tuomas jumped to his feet and started to run in the circle like a mesmerized, tearing his hair. – Somebody call the fire service!

Marco kept safe distance and was waiting for the keyboardist to finish searching for fire hose under the bed.

- Wait a minute… - he told slowly taking his head out of the mattress. - Nothing is on fire. – he admitted with a discoverer’s tone.

- Maybe you had a dream. – indifferently said Hietala. It was not the firs time he deceived him in that way.

- Uh, I hate those kind of nightmares. When I think that Donald could burn down… No, it’s too cruel, I don’t even want to think about it. – said Holopainen staring at his favorite’s poster on the wall.

- Exactly. I had a nightmare tonight…

Tuomas livened up. He put glasses on his nose and sat comfortably on the bed.

- Demons, Jay-Z, hellfire? - he asked with an excited voice.

- Hairdresser.

- …

- Yes, you heard right.

- Marco… - Tuomas started gently, casting a glance at bassist’s hair. – You haven’t been at hairdresser at least for 20 years. How could you have such a dream?

- It’s a long story. That’s why I came. I need to come clean. – he sighed and laid on the bed, taking the position of a patient in psychoanalyst’s cabinet combined with the position of corpse in a coffin.

- But why me? – asked Tuomas, discouraged with a boring topic.

- Well… You are the most frequent visitor to hairdresser’s saloon among us. Hightlights, permanent wave, refreshing masks…

- I just care about my appearance. Is anything bad about it? – he stopped Marco’s counting. – So… Ok, ok. Go ahead.

***

Somebody knocked at Tarja’s door. She was forced to end up the phone call.

- Wait a while, I’ll check who’s that. I guess it’s Marcelo, joker, he’s making some trips.

She came to the door, looked through the peephole, and went back to continue the conversation:

- Unfortunately, that was only a paperboy. Ok, cousin, so we’re arranged for a meeting, right? … Yes, yes. So, see you and good luck. Bye, Anette.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

EPISODE 1 "At the beginnig there was a pregnancy test"

Once upon a rainy day (as it usually happens in Finland), some mysterious person was sidling to the pharmacy to buy the pregnancy test. She was forced to ramble through unbeaten alleys, cause in her characteristic ‘curtains’ she would be recognized by every compatriot. When she finally reached the destination point – she bought her dream test and run home very quickly, forgetting even about taking the change. And it was strange, because that woman never forgot to take the change before. In her eyes money were…like gold dust, however it sounds weird… Her name was Tarja Turunen – for that time still the Nightwish singer, for who lucre was the greater part of life.

- Damn it! – Tarja cursed quietly (in Finnish, of course)

She was sitting cosily in the armchair and gazing at the positive result of the pregnancy test. At the same time the room entered band’s guitar player – Emppu Vuorinen. Tarja didn’t think twice and threw the test outside the window. Then she heard just loud ‘Perkele! What kind of people live here?!’ from the street and the package dashed in back to the room.

But Emppu didn’t pay attention to the test which was flying over his head. Unfortunately, Tarja was sure that he was the child’s father…

Turunen got to her feet immediately and trampled luckless test. Emppu came to her and stood on tiptoe in order to look into her eyes.

- You behave rather odd… - he whispered suspiciously.

- Maybe I’ve eaten something weird for the breakfast…

Tarja once again trampled what left from the test with her heel and felt sorry for her shoes, which cost more than all Tuomas’ trinkets altogether. But suddenly Tarja’s private charwoman entered the room, who was always cleaning only her room, cause the singer didn’t want to pay for the rest of the band. She ordered Turunen to step aside and then Emppu asked with surprised voice: “Oh, what is this?”. He bent down, looked at the positive result of the test and…

- No, no, no! I said - definitely no! – Tuomas was yelling while walking around the small room. Jukka and Marco were standing near the fireplace whilst Emppu was sitting near the table, rotating test in his hands. Tarja crouched proudly on the armchair, giving everybody a black look.

- So…what do you suggest? – she asked in Tuomas’ direction, who was going mad just because of looking at the test.

- I suggest… - he stopped and looked hopefully at the rest of the guys hoping that he’ll see the answer in their eyes. And he was wrong. – I suggest…the conference!

- Oh, lovely… - Tarja answered standing up and smoothing her curtains.

- Conference…but without your participation, of course… - Holopainen added after a while.

The singer didn’t show disappointment and left the room hoping that it won’t be that bad.

- And you, Emppu, you know how to use the pregnancy test, don’t you? – Marco said just after Turunen closed the door.

- Yeah, sure, I kn… Uh! – Vuorinen shouted with suppressed voice, throwing away the test, which he was playing with, with disgust.

Meanwhile, outside the door, Tarja was praying for not sacking her, otherwise she would lost unbelievable source of income. And that was something her budget couldn’t afford. She leant against the wall and took out the Finnish-English dictionary to kill the time and stress. Meanwhile the male part of the band made up their minds. Unfortunately, none of the guys wanted to pass it to her. They decided to write a letter. But because they were afraid of her reaction they put it in under the door and waited what would happen… When repeated (with an awful accent) ‘Ola senior!’ stopped, everyone held their breath. From an envelope Tarja took out a little piece of paper and she read out: ‘Tomorrow is a concert in Hartwall Areena. We have to be nice and polite, cause the gig will be filmed. After that – do whatever you want, but without us. A real band member can’t have children.’

Turunen frown and she was just about to say something, when through the door she heard Jukka’s voice:

- But it doesn’t concern me!

- Ok, no is no. I will manage. – she answered and fast run out the building, on the way thinking about the revenge plan.

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Under construction

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The first post on this blog will appear in the undefined time. If you already came across it and you also know Nightwish, don't forget this address. (: We can assure that it won't be the next site with news and boring information. As for now, page is under construction, so see you later! And remember...
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Hopsasa.